Dear Terminix Man Whose Name I Don't Even Know,

Seriously buddy. Take a hint. I was not happy so I switched back to Orkin. Your billing practices got on my nerves. Nothing personal man. Or at least it wasn't before.

I thought we were pretty clear about things after the second phone conversation we had about this in the space of about thirty minutes... and then we clarified again when you came on your regularly scheduled day anyways, the day after the Orkin man had been. Imagine my seething fury surprise when I got a call today reminding me about my scheduled service. Say what??? Didn't you just try to come here ten days ago? Weren't we (Dad and I both) perfectly clear that we had closed the account? Wait. What do you mean you didn't actually close it?

I hope that when your boss speaks to you about the complaint I filed against you they make sure to tell you that if you come to my house again I might be tempted to call the police. I have a peephole and caller ID and believe you me, I'll be using them both.

I'm starting to feel harassed.
Mom