Three for Thursday

Thanks to the fabulous Evelyn, who's amazingness knows no bounds. Go pay her a visit! 

1. Three favorite words

 According to the word counter thing on Facebook they are... Really. Baby. Kids.

I wasn't surprised by Really... but I expected Seriously and Crap to be on the list... or Naptime and Treat.

2. Three things that won’t be allowed in heaven

Hmmmm... I'm going to go with whining, lying and messy bedrooms.

3. Three crafty things I do

I don't know... I do a lot of crafty things. I like to think I am pretty good and figuring out how to do stuff. I've made stamped necklaces... I can cross stitch... I like making cards and invitations but never have time and never send out homemade ones. Not because there is anything wrong with homemade cards but because I never remember that I have them and I like to send out funny cards.

4. Three things I swore I would NEVER do when I became a parent, but now find myself doing.

This feels like the kind of question that could get me in trouble with my Mother, who was/is awesome. :) 

When I was a kid I swore I would never... make my kids do chores. Haha. Two days ago I had Stinky taking out all the garbage in the house. SCORE! I said I would never... take my kids out in public looking like orphans. There have been times when I was sure we would end up on People of Walmart. And Pinky's hair is usually the subject of much stress for me when we are heading out the door. I said I would never... let my baby crawl around and eat stuff off of the floor. Ugh. The kid is killing me. In the words of Dad, "Did it used to be food? Then I don't care if he eats it." The kitchen gets swept daily but it takes Booger Head about two seconds to cover it with a thin layer of cheerios or mashmallow mateys (hooray for fluorescent marshmallows on your feet!). He put it there, let him eat it.

5. Three favorite quotes

 Being a mother is like being pecked to death by a duck.

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?" -Erma Bombeck (she is hilarious, with a capital "H")

"If it's not broken it's probably not ours." Which I think I heard was Shaq's Mom.

6. Three names I would never dream of giving my children

Chastity Come on, you're just asking for it... Blanket A blanket is a child's possession. Not a child. Idiot... Brittany I've known too many of them who were... something that rhymes with itchy.

7. Three things I plan to do for Memorial Day weekend

Sleep in. That is, of course, assuming Dad gets to stay home instead of working to meet a deadline. Eat food. Hopefully good food... but I haven't even begun to plan that menu. Lament the end of school night bedtime. My kids are out of school tomorrow... sigh. So there will probably be some kind of movie night which will result in Dad and I staying up late to clean up the popcorn that will no doubt be all over the living room.

8. Three blogs I love to visit

Pioneer Woman... Everybody loves her and everything she cooks looks amazing.

AnyMommy... I love that she is willing to admit that she runs out of nice sometimes too.  

The Meanest Mom... Seriously. She's hilarious.  

 9. Three things that make my husband/partner the luckiest man alive

So we're to the "toot your own horn" part of blogging...

I'm cheap. I hate paying a lot for things so when I do buy stuff it's almost always on sale and I may have a coupon and if it's online I'll look for a coupon code. And if I hate it I take it back. I'm not one of those women who buy lots of expensive designer stuff and make it so we can't afford groceries.
I cook. On average I would say 6 times a week. Seriously. There are weeks where we go out more than that but they are few and far between. And I'm a good cook. My mom taught me well.

I get a babysitter fairly regularly so we can go on a date. LOVE date night! So I guess he's lucky that I like to spend time with him :)

10. Three Pictures

You're in luck. I just found my camera this morning.

 My poor baby has terrible, lazy parents who hadn't take him to the park EVER until last week. Yeah. He's one and this is his first time in a baby bucket swing. Nice one Mom and Dad.

 

 A sweet baby and an ice cream sammich. Num nummy... 

Stinky at his 2nd Grade awards assembly this morning. I can't believe the big turd is already so old. I'm not old. Just him. He's old.

You Can Make It! Freezer Jam Tutorial

I apologize for my bloggy absence. I blame blogger. I wanted to make sure they had their act together before I spent any more time doing this.

So. Jam. :)

I've been watching and waiting for the strawberries to hit $1 per pound. I'd almost given up. The last container of jam from last season was in the fridge and I was worried I would either have to go back to store bought slime or pay way too much for strawberries. And I'd rather pay too much for berries. Then there they were! WOOHOO! As soon as they are $1 per pound I buy at least a dozen, sometimes two dozen, and make jam.

Between the two of us Sam and I processed about 36 lbs of berries in to about 92 cups of delicious homemade jam in about 3.5 hours. Time consuming? Maybe. Worth it. ABSOLUTELY. Of course you don't have to work in such huge quantities but since each of us have four small monsters and half of them pack lunch to school each day we go through jam at a pretty rapid click...

Okay, here we go...

You'll need fruit. In this instance we used strawberries. I've done raspberries (delicious and super easy-wash and mash and you're ready), kiwis (which will make a six year old girl cry because they make green jam. Go figure. Kiwi jam also doesn't set as firmly as some of the others. But it's still good), peaches (SOOOO much work. Peeling, pitting and chopping, but still so much better than store bought), and plums (which I did not peel, just pitted and chopped and it was really good). You're really only limited by your imagination here. Raspberry-Peach jam is good, so is Strawberry-Kiwi. I saw a recipe somewhere for Pineapple Upside-Down Cake jam and it looked amazing... So obtain fruit...

Did you know that large amounts of unprocessed strawberries will make your house smell less like a strawberry field than you might think? The smell is much closer to fruity diapers. You parents know what a I mean... it's kind of gross until you start chopping.

How much fruit you need depends on how much jam you intent to make, which is a decision shaped by how much of this you have on hand.

This is the instant stuff, which means no cooking. Cooking jam sucks. It's hot and sticky and gross. I accidentally bought the wrong pectin once and it was a mistake I will never make again. This jam cannot be set on a shelf in the pantry, it has to be kept cold. The pectin you buy is boss. Follow the directions and measurements on the package. These directions are only good for this product.

If you use the packets you'll need around two pounds per packet, and it'll make a hair more than 2c. of jam. If you use the big jar you can triple the batch each time (doing more than that could jeopardize the "set" of your jam) and you'll need around six pounds and you'll end up with about 7c. of jam. If you're going to make a lot skip the packets, they're a pain and the jars are sealed tighter so there are no pectin lumps.

Containers. This is freezer jam, so something with a good seal is important. That being said they don't have to be expensive. I like these, but they are sort hard to find. (They also make them half that size but like I said, we go through it fast.) When I can't find them I use the ziploc twist n seal type containers. Anything with a good seal is fine. Swish them around in hot soapy water and leave them on a towel to dry while you get started.

Sam and I were able to determine that for large batch jam processing it's better to have a team of three. Some one to wash and chop, some one to ladle jam into containers and set up for the next batch, and someone to stir.

So wash and chop your berries. They don't have to be super small, just halved or quartered if they are huge mutant berries.

Sam is a blur of motion.

I like to run mine through the food processor because I hate huge chunks in my jam almost as much as I hate huge nuts in my brownies. But feel free to use a potato masher on yours... chop or mash or whatever until you have the necessary amount of fruit for the batch you are doing, the measurements are on the pectin container. Always follow the measurements on the container you are holding in YOUR hand.

So, chop berries. Not into soup, some chunks are good.

Now get your pectin and sugar set up in one bowl and the appropriate amount of prepared fruit into another bowl.

This you can do one of two ways. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter which you pour into where. I opted to pour the fruit into the pectin/sugar mix here because that bowl was bigger, but I tried it the other way around too and it made no difference in the finished product. (Please note that the pectin and sugar are not mixed together in the above picture, they should be before you dump the fruit and you need to make sure than any pectin lumps have been obliterated.)

Now dump and stir.

This part went a lot faster after we made Dad help us. The package I had said to stir for three minutes, but follow the directions on your package. Jam making totally counts as exercise. Your arms will hurt tomorrow.

After stirring for however long the pectin says to ladle your jam into your clean containers.

Lid them up and let them sit for however long the pectin says to before putting them in the freezer. Yes, I usually put one straight into the fridge but don't eat it until the next day. Give it time to get totally set.

Again, you don't have to make this much. Six pounds of strawberries fill three and half of the containers with the green lids.

Admire your handiwork. Thanks to you when the world ends you'll be able to trade some jam with some of those people who store wheat. Everybody wins. :)

Yes, this is my only freezer. And yes, the top shelf is often full of jam.

Things to remember...

1. No matter what measurements or whatever I gave here the container of pectin you buy and hold in your hand is boss. Unless you have the exact same thing follow those directions and measurements.

2. Not all pectins are alike. Make sure you know what you are buying. I like this stuff... look for the words instant, and freezer. I got it at WalMart over by the kitchen stuff, not the grocery section... usually some where close to the aisle with the tupperware.

3. Buy more containers than you think you'll need. You can always return them later. Having to run to the store at 11:30 to buy more will totally cramp your jammy style. A triple batch makes about seven cups... plan accordingly.

4. This is easy. If you can cut, measure and stir you can do it.

5. Store bought jam, even the expensive kind, is gross. And this has WAY less sugar.

6. Yes, you can do this with Splenda BUT it won't set as firmly as the full sugar kind.

7. This is good on everything. Ice cream, cottage cheese... Mmmm.

Now. Go forth! Make jam! And let me know how it goes :)

Three More Things

Again from Evelyn, at Hanging By A Silver Lining, who hates people who only ever do these types of things on their blogs... 

Good thing I don't know anyone like that.

Three things that come to my mind immediately. GO!:
1. Butterflies.
2. Chocolate Orange Cake...
3. Rain and snakes and fire ants.

Three things I did instead of blogging this week:
1. Got my permanent crown cemented. Ahhhh. Bye bye tooth pain.
2. Slept on the couch. I haven't been sleeping at night lately. Which has left me totally useless during the day. It sucks.
3. Made lots and lots and lots and lots of Strawberry Freezer Jam... tutorial is coming. You're gonna love it!

Three things I would like to learn how to do:
1. Home can peaches and tomatoes
2. Loosen up and let go. Major control freak here.
3. Spend less than I earn.

Three things that are pressing on my mind:
1. One of the butterflies has a broken wing... I sure hope it flies.
2. Booger Head turns one tomorrow and so far all I've done to prepare for the teeny party is buy a cake mix.
3. Should I move Booger Head's Dr.'s appointment on Monday so I can play with Sam and Bekah on Monday morning instead? I never get to see Bekah anymore...

Three pictures:

 

Love me some Purple Berri.

"Stop taking my freaking picture and give me a bath!"

So close... and yet, so far away... 

Three personal pet peeves I have about blogging:
1. Pictures that aren't rotated. Figure it out or leave it out.
2. Ads and product reviews. I couldn't care less what you think about product X. If I wanted commercials I'd watch TV.
3. "Blah blah blah, now come follow me!" type comments. This here is a "Don't call us, we'll call you" sort of establishment...

Three people I find intriguing:
1. My super cute friend Marnie, who does it all and looks great doing it. I have no idea how she pulls it off. I really miss her cute self.

2. The Fabulous Jessica over at The Lowe Family News... And she's just as fabulous in person and more ballsy and stylish than I could ever hope to be.
3. Pioneer Woman I want to be as awesome as her someday... but with less cow poop.

Three "surprises" I found this week:
1. Wet sheets on Ralph's bed. Surprise!

2. We're getting almost $100 from somebody that has something to do with some health thing at Dad's work because we filled out some questionnaires and he talked to a nurse.
3.  Stinky was tested for GT this week and apparently it went really well.

Three things I enjoyed about Mother's Day 2011:
1. Stinky brought home an adorable picture from school... with descriptions of my face, arms, etc... including the red marks, bruises, and arms that were "not used for flexing." Love it. Thanks Stinky!
2. Letting someone else juggle my baby during Relief Society. Thanks again Twyla.
3. A Tired Mother's Nap.

Three things I just can't resist:
1. Peanut M&M's

2. Freshy washed, lotioned, and powdered babies.
3. Those little round Sweet Tart things... bites or whatever they're called. Mmmmm... whole bag, one sitting.

Three things I did for The Jolly Green Giant so far this week:
1. Started following...

2. Wondered if this is going to include homework?

3. Hoped it wouldn't mean I would have to start exercising...

Three for Thursday

Stolen from the FABULOUS Evelyn over at Hanging By A Silver Lining... 

Three things I do after the kids are in bed:
1. Eat junk food...
2. Watch TV while ignoring all the stuff I should be doing.
3. Run to the store at 11:30 after a disastrous attempt at pie in a jar for teacher appreciation week.

Three people I kind of want to be, but not really:
1. Some one really well rested.
2. Some one who likes exercise.
3. Some one really well rested... oh wait...

Three objects I would never buy used:
1. Shoes. Grosses me out...
2. Under pants. Obviously...
3. A mattress. It always skeeves me out when I see people trying to sell them...

Three things I didn't do today:
1. Get enough sleep
2. Wash or fold laundry
3. I'm sure there was something else... but I can't remember right now.

Three books I would like to read...
1. The Overspent American
2. Mo Willems new Elephant and Piggie book...
3. Any of the other six books I am still waiting for this year...

Three things that have been ruined for me thanks to stomach flu and/or morning sickness:
1. Wheat Thins. The only thing I could eat for months with Booger Head... now I can't stand the sight of them.
2. Orange Soda. Never again.
3. Panda Express. Dad and I ate there for our anniversary like three years ago and both had stomach flu the next several days... haven't been there since.

Three things I appreciate about my marriage:
1. He doesn't tell me what to do.
2. We don't fight. Disagree? Sure. But yelling, screaming, saying mean things? We've never done that.
3. Ten years later he still loves me just the way I am. Crazy and all.

Three things within a two foot reach of me:
1. More elementary school related papers than you could shake a stick at.
2. My fancy new nook. Happy Early Birthday to me! I love it.
3. Booger Head's beloved stuffed Mickey Mouse

Three pictures:

My baby in the bluebonnets. :)

Pickles fraternizing with the locals.

My monsters on Easter Sunday.

Three plans for the near future:
1. Sleepwalk my way through volunteering at the school.
2. Make any and all lifeforms in my house this afternoon take naps. Myself included.
3. Go shopping with Dad for a cover for my fancy new nook. Happy Mother's Day to me :)

Three final thoughts:
1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kids' teachers but HATE teacher appreciation week.
2. I feel like, in the words of Sam "crap on burnt toast."
3. Evelyn is right...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Milking It For All It's Worth...

Bloggy excuse #241