Fan Mail

When I checked the mail a few days ago I noticed the hand addressed envelope that didn't have a return address on it.  But I didn't have time to read it until today...

Yeah.

Hang on just a second while I go grab my soap box.

I have a pretty thick skin. Don't get me wrong, I still find this to be cowardly and hurtful. I know a lot of people who would be slain by something like this. This is the kind of thing that makes people quit going to church. I think if you're gutsy enough to send something like this out you ought to be gutsy enough to own it.


Dear anoymous sister,

I can't learn from your mistakes. I have to make my own. And we all have regrets. I'm sorry that you feel that the choices your children have made are your fault.

I have high expectations for my children. I expect them to behave, to be respectful, and to do what they're told when they're told to do it. As a result of those expectations I have really good kids who I am very proud of. When they misbehave they are disciplined swiftly and firmly, which sometimes means getting drug out of church by your arm to have a time out because you mouthed off to your mother during sacrament meeting. I have very low tolerance for crap from my kids and yes, it does occasionally bite me in the butt.

All mothers have moments where they feel like witches. Those who don't are either liars or pushovers. Those moments of despair are born from days and days of struggling with strong willed children who know how to push your buttons. They come from hour upon hour of screaming baby who can't sleep because their siblings can't grasp the concept of quiet at bedtime. They thrive on day after monotonous day of laundry and dishes and whining and "sharing." We all have days where we feel like all we did was yell and say "No." Welcome to motherhood. It's not always glitter and play-dough.

My children are loved and happy and they are thriving. They are not "rejected" at home. They are cherished and encouraged and cuddled and read to and played with. I am guessing by this letter than you don't know me very well or you would know that the "harsh" moments are generally far between, you would know that time out ends with a hug and an I love you. You would know that hugs and kisses and tickles run like water around here.

You would also know that I am generally not one to concern myself with what other people think.

As I have said before I don't need you to tell me what you think I am doing wrong. If you're so concerned about the well being of my children why don't you offer to give me a hand instead of sending me hate mail. Chances are that I'll turn you down, but that would be a much less hurtful way to ofter the help you seem to think that I am in such desperate need of.
 
aubrey

I Confess...

that I seem to have the ornery stick in my hand again lately. I'm in no mood for your crap. Or anyone else's for that matter.

that people are really starting to get on my nerves and I am more than ready to be done with certain obligations I have. (See? Ornery stick...)

that I know the above mentioned problems are largely due to the control freak in me.

that I hate the fact that Booger Head is crawling. Not scootching anymore but real tummy off the ground faster than lightning crawling. "Hey Mom! While you were cleaning that up I made you a new mess over here!" Ugh. Hate it. I miss the little, scrunched up, cuddly baby he was when we brought him home...

that I am still reeling after Pinky's soccer practice yesterday. The same Mom who gave me dirty looks for sitting my car nursing at the "field" (aka the empty lot across the street from the coach's house) walked her daughter over to the coach's house and stood next to her while she peed. In the yard. WTC?!?!?! Seriously?! I was floored. I sat there wondering if I was on Candid Camera or something? Really people? "Sure my house is across the street, just pick a bush." I have no desire to attend another one of her practices. That may have to be a father daughter bonding activity. Peeing outdoors is a guy thing anyways, right?

that I am afraid of my calendar. All three of my older monsters are playing soccer. It's logistically horrifying.

that I am getting really tired of driving my car. Texans have enough trouble merging as it is. ("What do I do?! What do I do?! Someone is coming! They're heading right this way! Should I get over? Do I speed up? Do I slow down? Oh my gosh! What do I do?!") Throw in a crap wagon that isn't up to freeway speed until you've gone about a mile and it's enough to make me want to shred my license.

Whew. Okay. Now it's your turn... go ahead. It's good for the soul.

Do Over

Since this week has majorly sucked I am joining Mary for A Wee Bit Of Me Wednesday, but on Friday, and giving myself a Do Over.  

Wanna make something of it?

I didn't think so.


{one} if you were going to a remote place and could only bring one CD, what would it be?
Hmmm...The Killers album Hot Fuss

{two} are you generally more of an optimist, pessimist, or realist?
I'm going to say realist because it sounds more positive than admitting I am a pessimist. Shut up.

{three} have you ever picked up a hitchhiker? if not, would you?
No and #$%@ no. I am way too paranoid for that kind of crap.

{four} what spice or seasoning is your favorite?
Does salt count? I'm a fan. Plain ol' salty potato chips...mmmmm. I don't usually care for cumin, and I hate rosemary (tastes like pine trees). Basil is ify with me...

{five} what’s your birthstone? do you like it?
June has 2 birthstones one is the Pearl and the other is the Alexandrite. I like Alexandrites but I don't own any. I have some pearls...earrings that Dad got me for Mother's Day early in our marriage, before we had kids or were even pregnant, and a pink pearl pendant that I need to quit forgetting that I have. And a neat pearl bracelet that my Brother In Law got me while he was on his mission in the Philippines.

{six} do you know what your name means?
Fair Ruler of the Little People. No joke. Fair Ruler, that's me.

{seven} what is your favorite breakfast cereal?
 Raisin Bran from Costco (yes, it is different) or Maple & Brown Sugar Life cereal.

{eight} if there was an extra hour in each day, what would you spend it doing?
Keepin' it real here. I would sleep. All you people who would spend time with your families are better than me. I'm willing to admit that I would take a nap. No contest.

{nine} if you could turn any book into a movie, which would it be?
I dunno...book to movie adaptations tend to suck and leave me bitterly disappointed.

{ten} if you could go back and play out one day of your life to watch (like scrooge), what day would it be?
A day in 2007 when I let someone come into my home and call me and some of my good friends bad mothers. I wish I had had the guts to tell her to shut up or leave. If I had it to do again I would have pitched her right off of her high horse and she wouldn't have finished that lecture. I can tell you that it hasn't happened to me since.

*Okay I re-read that last question after posting...if I could go back and change one day then that would be it.

If I just got to watch one day...it would be the day I met Dad. No contest.

Craptastic

Just a warning, if you're looking for something bright and bubbly to start your week off with you may want to look elsewhere... I'm armed with an ornery stick and am not afraid to burst some bubbles with it today.


Craptastic: I have been battling a sinus thing for what feels like forever now...I have to keep reminding myself it could be worse. The time last year I was just barely pregnant with Booger Head and fighting off the swine flu. On my own. Without medication. Because no one will touch you with a ten foot pole when you're pregnant and have the swine flu.

Fantastic: I AM NOT pregnant and I do not have the swine flu.

Craptastic: I spent all day on Friday updating and balancing the checkbook, which was off by an even five dollars (GGRGGGGRRRGGGRRR!!!), and paying the bills; and did not get the grocery list done so we could do the grocery shopping on our date. If that sounds like a lousy date to you then you have obviously never taken four children grocery shopping on a Saturday...trust me. I'd rather sacrifice a date.

Craptastic: Pinky and I went grocery shopping with Booger Head while Dad stayed home with the two little pigs who refused to clean up their rooms. Booger Head screamed bloody-freaking-murder the WHOLE time we were in Kroger.

Craptastic: When I got home the house looked just as crappy as it did when I left.

Fantastic: The living room is clean.

Craptastic: It got to the point where Mom dissolves and cries for an entire day before anything got picked up. Seriously. If I am the only one who cares what it looks like out here then why bother..."My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?" -Erma Bombeck

Fantastic: When the two little pigs finally started cleaning up their room, after being grounded for two days because of the mess, it took them under twenty minutes to have it all cleaned up.

Fantastic: I got a new book on our poorly planned date on Friday night. We had no idea what we were going to do after we dropped the kids off so we spent most of the night avoiding traffic only to get caught in different traffic. Oh well.

Craptastic: I want to find a large coffee table I can refinish and turn into an upholstered ottoman for my living room...I am also keeping my eyes open for an end table, a sofa table and a buffet type cabinet with good bones so that I can try my hand at refinishing furniture. So we went to a really skeevy Goodwill store on our date. Yeah. Nice.

Craptastic: We paid too much for dinner and it wasn't that great. (At least I didn't think so.) I also paid too much for my book. I saw it for half what I paid for it at the grocery store (WTC?!) the next day. I think I'll stick to ordering my books online. In fact I was so annoyed that I came home and ordered two books from Amazon just to spite Barnes & Noble. Neener neener. 

Craptastic: Dad had to work all night long on Saturday night because he's taking Friday off to go on Pinky's field trip with her, because I can't go. Because I am joined at the boob to a small whiny person who is not welcome on the kindergarten field trip.

Craptastic: I was up late and slept really poorly while he was gone...which made it hard to shake the lousy day I had on Saturday.

Craptastic: I also forgot to wash whites on Saturday so I was short on undies on Sunday morning. I gave up and went back to bed. So we missed church.

Fantastic: Tomorrow is Monday. Oh wait... Did I mislabel that? No! It is fantastic! To the best of my knowledge we DO NOT have to go to anything at the ball park! Halle-freakin-lujah!

Here's to leaving the past in the past and starting over tomorrow.