Exhaling

Relax. I put down the ornery stick. :)

"When you're in a slump you're not in for much fun,

Un-slumping yourself is not easily done."

                                          -Dr. Suess

Today I owe this little Booger big time. Thanks for smiling and giggling the moment you saw me this morning...I really needed it Man.

I had a rough weekend. Just in a yucky funk I couldn't shake. Just a minute ago Dad asked me if I was feeling better?

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm over it."

Then he says, "I meant your cold."

Oh. Yeah. That's better too. :)

Craptastic

Just a warning, if you're looking for something bright and bubbly to start your week off with you may want to look elsewhere... I'm armed with an ornery stick and am not afraid to burst some bubbles with it today.


Craptastic: I have been battling a sinus thing for what feels like forever now...I have to keep reminding myself it could be worse. The time last year I was just barely pregnant with Booger Head and fighting off the swine flu. On my own. Without medication. Because no one will touch you with a ten foot pole when you're pregnant and have the swine flu.

Fantastic: I AM NOT pregnant and I do not have the swine flu.

Craptastic: I spent all day on Friday updating and balancing the checkbook, which was off by an even five dollars (GGRGGGGRRRGGGRRR!!!), and paying the bills; and did not get the grocery list done so we could do the grocery shopping on our date. If that sounds like a lousy date to you then you have obviously never taken four children grocery shopping on a Saturday...trust me. I'd rather sacrifice a date.

Craptastic: Pinky and I went grocery shopping with Booger Head while Dad stayed home with the two little pigs who refused to clean up their rooms. Booger Head screamed bloody-freaking-murder the WHOLE time we were in Kroger.

Craptastic: When I got home the house looked just as crappy as it did when I left.

Fantastic: The living room is clean.

Craptastic: It got to the point where Mom dissolves and cries for an entire day before anything got picked up. Seriously. If I am the only one who cares what it looks like out here then why bother..."My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?" -Erma Bombeck

Fantastic: When the two little pigs finally started cleaning up their room, after being grounded for two days because of the mess, it took them under twenty minutes to have it all cleaned up.

Fantastic: I got a new book on our poorly planned date on Friday night. We had no idea what we were going to do after we dropped the kids off so we spent most of the night avoiding traffic only to get caught in different traffic. Oh well.

Craptastic: I want to find a large coffee table I can refinish and turn into an upholstered ottoman for my living room...I am also keeping my eyes open for an end table, a sofa table and a buffet type cabinet with good bones so that I can try my hand at refinishing furniture. So we went to a really skeevy Goodwill store on our date. Yeah. Nice.

Craptastic: We paid too much for dinner and it wasn't that great. (At least I didn't think so.) I also paid too much for my book. I saw it for half what I paid for it at the grocery store (WTC?!) the next day. I think I'll stick to ordering my books online. In fact I was so annoyed that I came home and ordered two books from Amazon just to spite Barnes & Noble. Neener neener. 

Craptastic: Dad had to work all night long on Saturday night because he's taking Friday off to go on Pinky's field trip with her, because I can't go. Because I am joined at the boob to a small whiny person who is not welcome on the kindergarten field trip.

Craptastic: I was up late and slept really poorly while he was gone...which made it hard to shake the lousy day I had on Saturday.

Craptastic: I also forgot to wash whites on Saturday so I was short on undies on Sunday morning. I gave up and went back to bed. So we missed church.

Fantastic: Tomorrow is Monday. Oh wait... Did I mislabel that? No! It is fantastic! To the best of my knowledge we DO NOT have to go to anything at the ball park! Halle-freakin-lujah!

Here's to leaving the past in the past and starting over tomorrow.

I Don't Have Time For This

You know that commercial for cold medicine where the lady has the big teddy bear head in place of her own? I looked for one but the closest I got was this.

Hmmm...maybe that helps. A little.

Anyways, I totally get how that chick feels now...I have had a major case of "bear head" lately. My sinuses are packed with nasty crap and my throat feels like I swallowed a Brillo pad.

Maybe I need some medicine...

 Then again, maybe not.

Enough Already

Dear face,

We are not 14 anymore. So cut it out.

Seriously.
Mom

Embrace the Camera

I rigged up the camera in an effort to get a shot of the kids and I for Dad's birthday. I had had pictures taken of just the kids and I before...like four years before...when I was pregnant with Ralph. So I suppose now is a good time to update that...Here's the top two from the shoot...

I framed the top one for Dad...though I like the bottom one more...I wish Booger Head had been looking at the camera in both of them...

Just Keepin' It Real

As I type this I am debating whether or not I should actually post it. I know that this is a sensitive issue for many people...in the last two days I've read no less than six blogs or statuses about how much this bothers people.

And I am starting to feel sort of like I need to come to my own defense...

I have been known to complain about my kids.

Sometimes I even complain about them in real time on Facebook. I know, it sounds horrible and I feel bad typing it. But it's the truth and I own it.

It's a coping mechanism.

On those days when I am at my limit and my darling little monsters are either totally oblivious or simply don't care I NEED to know that some one out there is having the same kind of day. I need to know it's not just me. I know that not every moment of motherhood is going to be sunshine and bubbles but I need to know that I am not the only one out there who is trying hard to have a good day and failing dismally. I am venting in an effort to get myself to the point that I can laugh it off. And I know that I can count on one friend in particular to laugh it off with me or for my Mom to tell me that I am doing a good job and to just hang in there.

And I need that.

I have four children and none of them were an accident. I tried, and prayed, and cried over becoming pregnant with each and every one of them. 

I chose this.  

I chose the exhaustion and mess and the whining and I don't regret that choice. Ever. I love my kids and I know that I extremely blessed not only to have them, but to be able to stay home with them. I just refuse to pretend that it is always easy. Motherhood is hard. Being grateful to be here isn't always easy.

And here's where is gets really dicey. I have a number of friends who have struggled with infertility. I do not pretend to know how devastatingly painful it must be to live that for years. I've only experienced a small sliver of your brand of heartache. I applaud you for being able to go on after years and years of unfulfilled dreams. But please don't tell me how to raise my four children or how I should feel about raising them. Because you. simply. don't. get it. And it's not your fault that you don't.

I'm sure not trying to hurt anyone's feelings here but you can't possibly grasp what it's like unless you've lived it. Having one child doesn't make you an expert on having more than one any more than my having four makes me an expert on having eight. And you can't possibly understand how exponentially harder it gets to be, simply because you haven't lived it. You have no idea how the exhaustion compounds right along with the cleaning and laundry. I don't pretend to know where you're coming from, how about you don't pretend to know my life?

My kids drive me nuts and saying so, or occasionally venting about it, does not make me a bad mother. It does not make me undeserving or ungrateful. It's simply how I best deal with the stresses that if bottled up would make me bitter and unhappy. I know that I am blessed. I know that I am lucky to be surrounded by chaos. I know that there are nights you would gladly take my baby. Believe me, there are nights that I would gladly let you. Just like you, I am doing the best that I can.

How about we mothers would stop beating each other down? How about when a Mom you know reaches out, how ever she chooses to do it, you reach back instead of folding your arms, stepping back and calling her a terrible mother? We mothers are the only ones who truly understand what we're going through. Does she need help? Does she need a laugh? Does she need a treat? Does she simply need to interact with someone who's more than 3 feet tall and speaks fluent, understandable english?

She's having a bad day, she needs help, and she needs to know she's not the only one. And judging her for admitting it isn't helping...

What's On Mom's Phone?

My friend Jessica occasionally does this and every time it makes me laugh...she is a fabulous marine wife, who is currently surviving her hubby's deployment, with her five adorable children and she's awesome. So I am totally stealing her idea. I occasionally take crummy pictures with my phone and then never remember to go through them or post them anywhere, so let's play...


What's on Mom's phone?

Here's Pinky in her get up from her recital this past May...much less itchy than the ensemble from the previous year, thank heaven.

Pinky and I went on a Mother Daughter shopping expedition right before Easter...to search for the perfect shoes and earrings to go with her new dress. Of course we had to have some lunch while we were out.

Here Pickles on the night that we got her. She was about 8 weeks old and weighed less than one pound. She was adorable and cried in the bathroom all night long.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Ralph. I'd had my eyes dialated and came home with some of those stupid "glasses" they give you, and he loved them. We tucked a dishtowel into the neck of his shirt and he ran around like a superhero most of the afternoon.

Stinky as a tee ball playing Longhorn, from earlier this past spring. He was very excited about the Longhorn eye black that he and Dad found at the mall...when they abandoned me at Motherhood Maternity, but that's another story for another day.

Booger Head all carseated up and ready to go home from the hospital. Dad forgot to bring the real camera back after he took it home to upload pictures...so all the going home pics we have are scratched camera phone quality. Look how cute he is...

My sister's boy Link. He was sure freaked out by me sitting in the back next to him, when my Mom and sister and I went out. I got to squish between him and Booger Head in the backseat.

We took the kids to breakfast at a local place in Kaysville called Grannie Annie's (which is like Sill's but not the same). We usually try to meet our buddy Matt there one morning when we go to Utah...anyways, the kids ordered chocolate milk and the gal says, "I'm famous for my chocolate milk on Facebook." And I was all...Oooookay. Weirdo. Then she brought each of my children one of these...and then I was all "Yeah. I'm going to need one of those."

Ha haha. Here is Ralph winking. It's pretty funny.

He was ticked off that we put him in the baby swing at the park and wouldn't even look at me for a picture. "I DO NOT want to swing in a bucket." were his exact words.

I also discovered pictures from Stinky's class Christmas party when he was in kindergarten on there...nice job Mom...