Mrs. Farmer

Today Pinky's class went on a field trip to the local heritage farm. Pinky was totally enamored by her glimpse into farm life and came home raving about how she got to milk a fake cow and wash a piece of clothing in a metal tub. Her new found love of farm life is going to make my Christmas shopping a lot easier.

No kidding she offered to take over the laundry for me and was quite crestfallen when I told her that I would indeed be doing laundry while she was asleep. I told her I would gladly let her take over laundry folding duty...

She filled us in on her plans to marry a farmer and be a farmer's wife. Dad asked her if it mattered if he had his own tractor? "No. Because we can buy one together after we get married."

To Whom It May Concern

After dropping my kids off at school this morning, a pleasure usually reserved for my husband on his way to work (I did it today so he could have breakfast this morning), I came home and vented about the frustrations that power doors cause in the drop off lane. That got me thinking and so I typed...


I just had a thought that could maybe make life a little easier in the drop off lane... we recently got a new van and it has power rear doors, not something we've ever had before. When I stop to drop my kids off they pull on the handle, I push the button, and the staff member outside the door pulls on the handle and it's almost more than the poor car can take. The door freezes about two inches open and there's a lot of beeping and we have to close the door and start over. This morning it happened three times. Last year the staff member outside the car actually pulled the handle hard enough trying to get the power door open on my friend's car that she broke the door handle off completely. If that had happened to me I can guarantee you that I would not have been the one paying to fix it... I just wanted to suggest that when a kid gets dropped off in a mini van you guys wait to see if they need help with the door, even a kindergartner can open a power door from the inside, before helping. Thus avoiding confusing the heck out of the door and causing drop off to take a lot longer than it needs to.

Thanks!
Mom (Your friendly, psycho, neighborhood control freak.)


Changing the world. One drop off lane at a time.

Mope

I nursed Booger Head for the last time this morning.

He's done.

Forever.

And it's very likely that I am too.

And while I am really glad to get to wear a decent bra and stay dressed all day long again, I'm sad.

And old.

I am no longer one of those young moms who are having babies.

I'm an old mom with four whiny kids.

I filled out the 11 month spot in his baby book last night, a week late.

Then I looked through all his pictures... from the hospital until yesterday.

Then I might have cried.

Dang baby.

To be honest, I'm no longer totally sure of my "doneness."

Dad thinks I'm nuts.

Four kids is a lot.

Five would be insane.

And we're already so tired.

And we just got a large chunk of our lives back from the last baby. Last month we went on our first date with out him. It was sort of amazing... sorry Booger Head. I missed you. Sort of. A really little bit.

But right now I just can't quite come to terms with being "done."

We're agreeing to revisit the issue in 7 months.

I was sure before. I sold things and gave away stuff.

Dang it.

I'm already so tired.

And old.

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I had no idea when I started this that it would end up so Emilisq in style. She must be rubbing off on me :)

Fountain of Knowledge

I'm learning all kinds of new things lately. A few days ago I learned that if you doodle a mustache on Harry Connick Jr. he looks a little like Tom Selleck. See...

And today I learned that if you don't go to the dentist for five years AFTER you find out you have some cavities that need to be filled they will not, in fact, magically disappear but instead will get worse and worse and you'll end up with a temporary crown and distinct possibility of a root canal.

(Side note/rant: What do you mean "How does that feel?" It feels numb. Like the rest of that side of my face. It's tired. It hates the dentist. And it just wants to go home. "How does that feel?" Seriously...)

And now I am going to take a nap.

I Made It! Paper Lilies

My Easter decor has been a little lackluster... then I came across these and I LOVED them. Tutorial found HERE.

Pretty straightforward... it looks really complicated but she's got great step by step directions. I had a little trouble getting the two of them to stack together, I ended up kind of mashing the four little center dudes next to the sides on the purple flower.

12x12 was a little big to work with... DO NOT try to do this with card stock, it would be impossible.

Here it is again with smaller (8x8) paper... LOVE the colors here...

The Hidden Meanings of Words

Having children is a great way to improve your reading and vocabulary skills...

"Do not turn on the TV when you get up. The TV has to stay off until the big kids leave for school. When you get up you need to change out of your Pull Up and play quietly, and not get into stuff." Seems pretty straight forward right? It's actual translation is a bit lengthy and goes something like this:

"When you get up in the morning head straight for the TV and turn on a movie. Sit and watch a movie while wearing a pee soaked Pull Up until you get bored and then play with my camera. Take a minimum of 92 pictures and 12 little video clips of yourself being naughty. Also, see that basket of wii stuff I put up there where you can't reach it? Yeah, why don't you move the little table to get it down since obviously I just put it up there to slow you down. You know I love it when you use the kids table and chairs to get into things. Be sure to act like it's a huge injustice when you are consequently grounded from the TV for the day after failing to follow directions and be really shocked when I put you down for a nap later that afternoon."

Fun huh?

Shall we try another?

"Please leave the door open. If you have to close the door to do what you're doing then chances are you shouldn't be doing it." Easy right?

Any mom knows that really means "close the door the minute I walk away and then stare at me like you don't speak English when I reiterate the fact that I would like the door to stay open because I don't trust you not to be doing something stupid in here. Something that is likely to end in a trip to the pediatrician... like trying to slide down from the top bunk on a crib mattress."

One more. It's a doozey...

"If you don't hurry and get dressed you're not going to have time for breakfast."

It actually means: "Take so long to get dressed that your sister will be more than halfway through her bowl of cereal by the time you see fit to grace us with your presence at the breakfast table. Be sure to eat each little flake, raisin and granola cluster individually. Don't forget to give your mother a nasty scowl-n-growl when she kicks you out of the kitchen ten minutes later and prevents you from being late for school."

Of course these are pretty advanced directions.

I suppose we should have started with easier stuff like how "Turn it off now!" actually means "Ignore me and be indignant when I turn it off for you." Or how "Clean this up please." is really just a clever way of saying, " Sit in here and don't clean up a thing. Seriously. Not one thing. In fact, you should probably get out a few more things because I can almost see enough of the carpet to venture a guess as to what color it is." And of course the way that, "This meal was a lot of work please just sit down and eat it." actually means something more like, "This food didn't come from a box, therefore, you will hate it. Continue to dance around the kitchen like some sort of fairy on a hunger strike."

Feel smarter already? Don't ya?

I Confess...

that this is a sucky, depressing, whiny, blog post and you probably shouldn't read it.

that I just need to vent a little...

that today didn't start out like this.

that if was fine until I asked them to clean up. Just like it always is when I ask them to clean up.

and that I just totally lost my cool with the big boys, who are were refusing to clean their room and instead hosting some kind of party in there.

that when I flung the door open the door knob put a sizeable hole the wall. Great.

that I gathered two trash bags full of crap off of their floor. There. Now it's clean.

that I grounded both of them for the rest of the weekend.

that because I was so mad and because I have so freaking many things to do this weekend I also emailed Stinky's coach and told him that Stinky wouldn't be attending his soccer game tonight. Privileges are just that around here, earn them or lose them. If I have to clean your room for you I am not going to have time for soccer.

that now all three of my boys are hysterical (Booger Head was in the room next door, trying to take a nap, when the wailing and gnashing of teeth started).

that I really hate it when they sit in there and cry for Daddy. Like if he was here it would be all balloons and cupcakes and no one would care that the place looks like crap. You know what? I wish Dad was here too...

that I know that this will have changed nothing. The next time I ask them to pick up their crap we'll fight the same fight and eventually come to the same place, with all the yelling and fighting and crying and eventual "total loss of cool" by Mom.

that this fight was one of the biggest reasons that I didn't want to put my baby in that room. I hate that room. I hate the constant state of mess and the never ending fights about cleaning it up. I hate that its inhabitants seriously couldn't care less if I cry and beg and plead with them to clean it up. Nothing reaches them. And I didn't want my sweet, tiny, baby to live in that. Or be like that.

that you have to take care of your things. Period. And I will not live in a pig sty. As long as I have to look at your room you're going to keep your things picked up.

that I hate feeling like maybe there is something wrong with me and I am the one being totally unreasonable by expecting them to take care of their things.

that I am so tired of having soccer every night of my life.

that I boycotted Pinky's soccer practice last night because she had a game on Tuesday and she has another one tomorrow and they are only allowed to have two "events" per week. Tuesday plus Saturday equals two in my book.

that I had high hopes that we would be able to spend some nice family time together last night and instead we ended up fighting about cleaning up after Stinky and Ralph totally humiliated me with their crap attitudes earlier in the afternoon.

that I wonder why it always ends up like that. I get all excited about being able to just be together and relax and it's like they know...

that I saw a thing just last night on the news about the realness of retail therapy. Pinky and I are going shopping as soon as Dad gets here.